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What is "the Human Condition?"
Reading time: 2.5 minutes
Recently, on two separate occasions while I was sharing my belief that our life journey is meant to be joyful, someone said to me, “But isn’t anger/pain/sadness the human condition?
Why do so many people believe to suffer is “the human condition?” It seems to me a lot like saying, “life is hard.” It all depends on your perspective. And the beauty of perspective is that it can be changed.
The belief that life must be suffered through reflects a misunderstanding about who we are and why we’re here. We are souls whose purpose is to evolve. We're meant to learn how to overcome suffering. Life isn’t hard. It just is. We are the ones who give meaning to life’s events, and we have the power to change that meaning.
Easy for me to say, right? Consider this: Most of us have known or heard of people who live in the most challenging circumstances with few comforts, yet who are happy and at peace. Likewise, we know people who live in luxury and seem to have every imaginable advantage, and who are miserable. The difference lies in how they view life and their circumstances. The disadvantaged soul may deeply appreciate his few blessings and find joy in being alive, in enjoying the beauty of nature and other simple pleasures. On the other hand, the person who has everything may still feel deprived; they will never have enough because nothing outside of them can change their feeling of deprivation to one of satisfaction. Change can only come from within.
Happiness is a choice, and from that choice comes all other blessings and the ability to fulfill your potential. To illustrate this fact, I often refer to Nelson Mandela's being imprisoned in solitary confinement for so many years before the end of apartheid and his election to the presidency of South Africa. He could have emerged from prison a bitter and vengeful man, poisoned by resentment towards his captors. Instead, in his solitude he found his peace and was able to go forward and lead all his countrymen—even those who imprisoned him—with poise, wisdom, and love.
It is the need to judge—based on misunderstandings, illusions, and insecurities—which makes life anything other than peace, contentment, and bliss at any moment. I invite you to see through the veil of illusion—the illusion that what happens outside of you controls how you feel—and to embrace the truth that you have the power to choose happiness, no matter what.
If you want to be joyful, be grateful for your blessings. It also helps to realize that other's hurtful behavior towards you results from the offender's lack of understanding; it does not define you. Your pain can be a gift that leads you to a higher awareness of the truth of your being. Once you honor your painful feelings, they can be transmuted to peace and joy, and from that place, you can have compassion for your tormentors. You will know how good it feels to be in that positive, loving, joyful state, and you can choose to remain in that state. Then you will be free from suffering. You will be enlightened.
Allow the possibility that “the human condition” can be bliss. You’ll be glad you did!
Wishing you peace, love, and joy,
P.S. Sometimes you need help changing your perspective because the feelings and beliefs that cause you the most pain are typically stored beneath your conscious awareness. Soul Harmony™ Healing rapidly reveals and transforms the hidden emotions that can keep you trapped in unwanted patterns and that can cause pain and suffering, emotionally and physically. It is my honor to guide souls through this graceful process of transformation so they can enjoy the clarity, peace, and bliss that is who they truly are. If these words resonate with you, please call me for a complimentary 15 minute consultation to see if Soul Harmony™ Healing is for you. Thank you!
Tips #1 & 2. More to come. Reading time: 2.5 minutes
You’re not likely to hear these tips from your doctor, but they are known to profoundly affect your physical health and overall well being. Take heed and be well!
1. Be grateful.
A huge health payoff is derived from being happy, and nothing promotes happiness more than gratitude. If you’re feeling down emotionally or physically and want an immediate lift, take a moment to focus on all your blessings.
To enjoy gratitude’s full benefit, I suggest you list mentally or on paper everything for which you feel grateful and then take time each day to allow yourself to feel the joy of that gratitude in every cell of your body. Literally allow all your cells to tingle with joy as you appreciate all your blessings. The good feelings from these positive thoughts will shift your energy to a lighter, happier state.
Since we know from quantum physics that we are made of energy, it makes sense that when you change your energy you change your biology. It’s hard to be sick when you are feeling blissful.
When you are happier you are likely to be healthier and more successful. The surest way to get—and stay—happy is to savor the feeling of gratitude.
2. Feel all your feelings.
As healing as it is to feel your good feelings, when it comes to your health, it is equally essential to feel your bad feelings. The trick is to not allow low feelings to linger. Research in neuroscience and psychoneuroimmunology shows that stored emotions are at the bottom of most physical issues. Repressed resentment, anger, grief, and other undesirable emotions can fester in your body, weaken your immune system, and cause illness. The sooner you can release negative emotions, the healthier you will be.
In order to release painful feelings, you must first fully acknowledge them. If you need to, cry your eyes out; confide in a trusted friend or counselor; beat up a pillow; write out your feelings in a poem, a song, a journal, or a long letter you never need to send; moan or scream at the top of your lungs. As noted by Australian physician and surgeon Sir Henry Maudsley (1859-1944), "Sorrows which find no vent in tears may soon make other organs weep."
Often, healing can occur the moment you stop denying a bad feeling. Just by giving the painful feeling the attention it needs, it can instantly dissipate, along with any physical symptoms that may have accompanied it.
Even better news is that once you discover, acknowledge, and release negative emotions, they become far less likely to rear their irritating heads again. You’ll find that you don’t get upset about things the way you used to; you’re more peaceful and able to stay centered in your heart, rather than react painfully to situations that aren’t to your liking. You’re happier, which means you’re a lot healthier, too.
Remember that all your feelings are your friends. Painful feelings alert you that some aspect of your life needs attention and healing. Being the powerful creator that you are, when you pay attention to your feelings that are anything other than blissful, you can allow them to change. And since you are a being made up of energy that vibrates at different frequencies, when you change how you feel, you are changing your vibration. When you change your vibration, you change YOU. And when you change, every aspect of your life can change for the better.
Soul Harmony™ Healing guides you through a process that reveals and releases the deep feelings that are usually hidden from your awareness and that typically keep you trapped in unwanted emotional and physical patterns. If you'd like to be free of these feelings that can limit you, I can help. Please call me for a free 15 minute consultation if you'd like to learn more.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, treat, or cure any disease, physical or mental.
3 Tips for a blissful holiday season—Tip #3
Here's my last tip of the year to help you warm your heart so you can keep your cool with relatives and other loved ones this holiday season and beyond.
For holiday bliss: Don’t take it personally.
Being around family for the holidays often reminds you that those who you love the most also can irritate you the most. The key to remaining blissful when faced with others’ annoying behavior is to remember to not take it personally.
When anyone—whether it's a loved one or a stranger—treats you in a way that is anything other than loving, patient, and kind, it truly isn’t about you. It’s about them. It’s about the other person’s insecurities and misunderstandings. Behavior that is hurtful comes from the wounded place in each of us; if we are disturbed or suffering in any way, we tend to spread the pain around. If we are confident and happy, we spread peace and joy.
One of the biggest mistakes we all make is the tendency to judge ourselves based on others’ treatment of us. If someone is mean or unkind or dishonest with you, it’s not uncommon to believe—usually at an unconscious level—that you are somehow deserving of that kind of treatment. This type of self-judgment makes you feel bad and can cause you to react in anger. If, however, you are centered in the truth of your value as a divine being, you wouldn't react at all. You would be confident about who and what you are, and nothing anyone could say or do could change your inner knowingness.
The truth is that even if you haven’t always been a perfect angel, you are still worthy of love and respect. But that love and respect must first come from you to you. As long as you love yourself and know your worth, you won’t be distressed by how others treat you. You may not appreciate or condone someone’s unenlightened behavior towards you, but you won’t feel resentful, judge yourself, or be traumatized by it.
When you are faced with hurtful or abusive behavior, try seeing the offending party as a small child having a tantrum or otherwise acting as if they don’t know any better. If someone is behaving in an offensive way, it is the wounded child in them that is acting out. Behavior that is anything other than loving is not the behavior of a conscious, secure, adult mind and heart.
When you recognize that unloving behavior comes from a painful place within the perpetrator, you can forgive them for aggravating you and then offer them compassion. It is in the forgiving and offering of understanding that you can find your own peace—and even bliss, which you can then share with others.
Your ability to experience bliss is in your hands. Choose bliss!
Wishing you a very Happy Holiday and that you find peace and joy in the New Year.
Here’s another tip to help you warm your heart so you can keep your cool with relatives and other loved ones this holiday season and beyond. For holiday bliss: Look in the Mirror.
Being around family during the holidays can be a trying time for many. Who else can push your buttons more reliably than your closest relatives? When you’re interacting with a family member or anyone else this holiday season, one way to promote more harmony is to understand that when you have an emotional charge on someone else’s behavior, it may be mirroring back to you your own unwanted behavior or energy that needs healing. Often when we judge things about others that we don’t like, it is an unconscious recognition of that behavior in ourselves.
If you’re not sure whether you are guilty of what you are condemning, you can take a moment to look inside to see whether you can recall ever behaving like the offending party. You can also ask others for feedback to see if they ever witnessed that behavior in you. If so, forgiveness is in order—forgiveness of yourself. Self-forgiveness reflects the understanding that you—like the person you are judging—are simply doing the best you can. We all sometimes fall victim to limiting beliefs and insecurities that result in behavior that causes disharmony. When you forgive yourself for your own imperfections you naturally become more accepting of others.
Once you forgive yourself, you can move to a place of compassion for both you and the person you are judging. Feeling compassion opens your heart and allows you to be more peaceful and accepting. As a result, you and your loved ones experience more joy. Your ability to experience bliss is in your hands. Choose bliss! Wishing you wonder and joy this holiday season, and always.
This tip will help you warm your heart so you can keep your cool with relatives and other loved ones this holiday season and beyond.
For holiday bliss: Adjust your expectations.
If you are feeling frustrated or disappointed by some of your interactions this holiday season, check in to see how your expectations may be causing your uneasy feelings. Expectations of others’ behavior and of how things “should be” are a leading cause of disharmony and suffering.
When we clash with others, it is often because we have set rules or standards that others must follow in order for us to be happy. We are rarely aware that we may feel a need to control others and our environment in order to be okay. These needs are based on the belief that we are separate from other souls and therefore alone and unprotected. When you are secure and anchored in your loving essence, you know that you are safe and can allow others to be as they are. You can stay centered in peace even when things aren’t unfolding exactly as you’d like.
I’m not suggesting that you should give up discernment in order to adjust your expectations. The idea is to take a look to see whether you might be too rigid with yourself or others in judging what is acceptable. You might want to ask yourself, "Is my expectation causing discord or harmony?"
Perhaps you can still be okay even if things aren’t “just so.” After all is said and done, which is more important: for things to be a certain way, or to strive for peace, love, and harmony in all ways, everyday?
Your ability to experience bliss is in your hands. Choose bliss!
Wishing you wonder and joy this holiday season, and always.
P.S. If you'd like to spread some bliss this holiday season, I hope you will consider a Soul Harmony Healing or Success Coaching gift certificate for you or a loved one. For more information call me at 310-779-1173 or visitwww.sharicovens.com/specialoffers.html.
One evening while visiting family during the Thanksgiving weekend, I watched the evening news—something I rarely do. The news featured among other disasters a couple of murders, destruction of property, and footage from the war in Afghanistan. Then my sister flipped through the channels and I saw a glimpse of a corpse on CSI, an A&E video of a trashed home lived in by hoarders, and a show called “Snapped” that recounted the gruesome, true tale of a woman who murdered her husband.
As I endured this momentary assault on my senses, I was reminded of a teaching from Huna philosophy, the ancient Hawaiian mystical tradition. The teaching says, “You combine with what you notice,” which in this case reminded me that when you focus your attention on ugliness, murder, and mayhem, you tend to vibrate at the same, lower frequency of those dark energies, even if only temporarily.
I’m not suggesting that anyone live with their head in the sand. Even though light and darkness are part of the whole of life, you can still be discerning about what you choose to see. It is possible to know darkness exists without having to witness it or hear the ghastly details.
Considering that we are made of energy, and that high vibrating energies of joy, love, and peace are known to promote wellness, why spend even a moment lingering elsewhere? Focusing your attention on those things that are beautiful and harmonious and that make you smile serves as a healing tonic that raises your vibration to a happier and healthier frequency.
To stay happy and healthy, pay attention to what you are paying attention to. Make the choice to fill your senses with beauty, harmony, and bliss. Seek beauty wherever you are. Your body and soul will thank you for it.
If you were able to listen to my recent interview on Air America/Hollywood Clout radio, you learned about leading edge research that indicates that your reality can be largely created for you by events that occurred before you were born.
You learned about research by cellular biologist Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. www.brucelipton.comand others in the field of neuroscience which shows how thoughts and feelings affect you down to the DNA level. And you learned that because you inherit your DNA, you are also inheriting from your ancestors not only their strengths, but also the deeply held beliefs and feelings they felt in reaction to their traumas.
I also mentioned research by the The Institute for the Study of Peak States which shows that your limiting emotional and physical conditions can result from traumas experienced during your physical development in the womb.
The good news is that you don’t have to be a victim of the DNA you inherited or the trauma you may have experienced in the womb. You can change your reality—i.e. your life—by discovering and changing the unconscious debilitating beliefs and feelings with which you were likely born.
How can you accomplish this miraculous feat?By paying attention to your feelings.When you fully acknowledge your feelings, you can allow yourself to learn the truth about those feelings that are holding you back.Then those feelings that aren’t serving you can change. And the beliefs that were formed in reaction to those feelings can shatter, freeing you from their limiting nature.
The trick is to be able to discover the feelings that drive the beliefs that limit you.Because these feelings usually don’t feel very good, we try to avoid them. We often numb ourselves with distractions like television, food, alcohol, or other substances and activities that artificially alter our consciousness. Or we stay busy every minute of the day or avoid being alone or even being still for a moment.
The truth is that most people are terrified of fully feeling their feelings.They fear that if they allow themselves to feel their pain or uncertainty, they might fall into a bottomless pit of suffering from which they will never emerge.The error in this way of being however is a failure to understand that what you resist, persists.Those gnawing, uncomfortable feelings are there, trying to get your attention, so you can acknowledge them and allow them to change. If you continue to resist unpleasant feelings, they not only perpetuate unwanted emotional patterns, but they also can become stored in the body and turn into physical ailments. By shining the light of consciousness upon your feelings, you truly can set them free.
A fact of the human experience is that we cannot always identify our deepest fears and misunderstandings on our own.But you can take the first step on this journey by starting to acknowledge your feelings when you’re feeling ill at ease, emotionally or physically.Allow yourself to take out time to find where the feeling resides in your body, and simply allow that feeling to speak.By acknowledging your feelings and listening to what they are saying, you begin the first step towards transformation.You have to “feel it to heal it.”
When you allow yourself to stop, reflect, pay attention, and acknowledge that you are feeling unwanted, not good enough, unimportant, betrayed, violated, or other unpleasant feeling, you allow yourself the opportunity to realize that others’ behavior towards you doesn’t define your worth.You allow the possibility of learning from your pain, and of seeing how lessons learned from the unwanted experience can move you forward on your path to wholeness and self-mastery. Once your disturbing feelings are healed, you can live with greater ease, joy, and confidence, no matter what is happening in your life or the world around you.
Soul Harmony™ Healing facilitates this transformational process in a fast, easy, graceful manner.Whether experienced in a private one-on-one session or in a group process in a workshop, you can experience a safe place to access and change those beliefs and feelings that don’t serve you.You don’t have to be a slave to any feelings that conflict with the truth of your being.You don’t need to wait to experience the infinite love, bliss, peace, and abundance that are your birthright.You can claim the Master within and be and feel your best now.
It would be my honor to serve you on your journey.
Peace and many blessings,
Take a Bliss Break.
February 4, 2009
A key to success that is often overlooked is the art of feeling good. In
these trying times, it's easy to let circumstances get you down,
whether you are directly affected by the current economic cycle or
simply spending too much time watching or reading all the bad
news. While it's certainly important to be aware of what's happening in
the world and to make any necessary adjustments, it's equally important
to remember that you are in charge of your information intake, and your
attitude. You can limit your exposure to reports of gloom and doom. And
rather than succumbing to fear, regret, or anger, you can instead focus
on the blessings in your life and the things that make you happy.
important is it to choose happiness? Research has shown that happy
people are more efficient, productive, and confident, and are more
likely to set goals and achieve them, no matter what challenges they
may be facing. When you feel good, your energy is vibrating at a
higher frequency, making you naturally more healthy and attractive.
You are more aware, can think more clearly, and can more easily
recognize and respond to opportunities. So, if you thought that
success buys happiness, think again. Contrary to what most people believe, happiness leads to greater success, not the other way around.
conditions are less than ideal, how do you stay happy? A wellness
program called The Solution Method, by Laurel Mellin, M.D., suggests
that participants accumulate 100 “joy points” every day. The more joy
you allow yourself to feel daily, the more likely you are to have
positive emotions and the happier you become. And medical science has
shown again and again that happy people are also healthier. They are
more optimistic, energetic, and have stronger immune systems. In fact,
a recent study by Dr. Dean Ornish, reported in the British medical
journal, The Lancet, showed that healthy emotions can even turn off genes that are precursors to disease.
So, in order to fulfill your daily joy quota, try taking regular “bliss breaks.”
You can create a “to do” list of things that make you feel good
(avoiding those that are immoral, illegal, or fattening), and then
commit to doing as many of them as possible each day. And if you need
some ideas for your “bliss break” list, consider these everyday actions
that are happy-making:
Look at something you find beautiful.
Smell the flowers.
Stroke the cat.
Romp with the dog.
Spend time in nature.
Listen to your favorite music.
Sing or hum.
Read or watch something uplifting.
Take a walk.
Hug your self.
Laugh out loud.
Do your favorite exercise routine.
Take a fragrant bath.
Chat with a friend.
Play a game.
Count your blessings.
matter what is happening around you, you can always stop and do, see,
feel, hear, or smell something that brings you the feeling of bliss,
even if only for a moment. Those moments add up, and the more “bliss
breaks” you take each day, the happier and healthier you’ll be. And
when you’re happy, you’re a more powerful success magnet and can more easily attract all of your soul's desires.
Some people who have known me at various times in my life will probably think it’s hilarious—or a travesty—that I am now writing a spiritually-oriented book about how to achieve success, which, underneath it all, is about how to experience more love in your life. While I have excelled in my career, I have also failed in many ways and several people in my past would consider me the last person to be an expert on love. But then again, it has been said that you can only truly be a success if you have failed.
I found this statement to be extremely validating. I finally realized that my past failures—at loving myself and others, at taking the best care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually—made me such an expert at what not to do, that I just sort of fell in to the work of finding out what to do. If, that is, you can call “falling into” something the fact that for more than 20 years, I’ve actively focused on reading everything that called to me about spirituality, psychology, Eastern and Western philosophy, and holistic health and healing, and that I studied and taught meditation, became a certified energy healer, practiced yoga, trained in Spiritual Psychology and coaching, found and attracted amazing spiritual teachers and healers, and attended personal and spiritual growth-oriented and holistic healing classes, conferences, and seminars on a consistent basis.
Being on this path, I wanted to integrate into my being the lessons I was learning, so much so that I created big, hairy projects that facilitated quantum leaps in my growth and dramatically increased my awareness about the facts of life that had eluded me in my first couple or three decades.
In my early 30s, while living in Maui and Los Angeles during a sabbatical from my former career in national magazine advertising sales, I dedicated my time and effort to creating a television show about holistic health. A few years later, while working for US and later Mademoiselle magazines, I devoted every spare moment to developing the concept and business plan for a women’s magazine about living beautifully, spiritually, naturally, and consciously.
Despite some miraculous developments with each of these ventures and my success in attracting serious attention and interest from major players in television and publishing, neither project came to fruition. Over time, I came to see that these efforts were simply “practice,” that they were the conduits for my in-depth learning about principles and practices related to the holistic approach to health and well being. I had a burning desire to promote awareness of all that I was learning, to help make the world a better place and reduce suffering. These projects provided more education and preparation for the work I longed to do.
All that I’ve learned has also provided me with a core understanding and trust about how the universe works. And this understanding has created a foundation for a pretty amazing life, a life that many have labeled as “charmed.” And I have to agree.
Now, as a Soul-Centered life and business Success Coach and holistic healer, I have integrated much of this understanding into a coaching program I call, “Foundation for Success.” Success in the truest sense of the word, meaning the kind of success that makes your soul sing, that matches your ideal vision of who you really are and what you value, that perfectly expresses your unique talents and gifts that you bring to the world, whether “you” are an individual or an organization.
The “Foundation for Success” program has two facets: 1.) Practical self-discovery, goal clarifying, and strategizing components, and 2.) The “woo-woo” stuff, including teachings about universal laws and spiritual principles and other metaphysical truths and tricks that help you clear your issues so you can more easily and gracefully align with your soul’s true path and purpose. This woo-woo stuff includes concepts and practices that enable you to get out of your own way, clear internal obstacles, and become a more powerful creator and attractor of your heart’s desires, whether you want to create a whole new life or to simply transform your business—which usually also results in the former option.
I began this piece by indicating that the book I’m writing is ultimately about experiencing more love in your life. The truth is that it all begins and ends with love. Creating the success you want requires an enormous amount of self-love. And becoming who and what you want to be, who you are meant to be, not only makes you more loving, it also makes you a greater magnet for love.
So, love is key. Love is the key to success.
If you could use some help in the department of loving yourself a little—or a lot—better, the support and guidance provided by Success Coaching may be just the ticket for you. As a Soul-Centered Success Coach, I would be honored to help you create the life and business success you’ve always wanted, and that you deserve to have now.
If this message resonates with you and you are interested in exploring what Success Coaching can do for you, please give me a call and I’ll be happy to answer any questions and provide a sample session that will give you an idea of the benefits of coaching. I can also tell you more about the Soul Harmony Healing work I now provide as an additional tool for releasing what may be holding you back, so you can fully step into your power and achieve your hearts desire. Both the coaching and healing work are typically conducted over the phone, so we can work together wherever you are.
Plus, if you would like to learn several of the concepts and tools that I teach my coaching clients, as well as some of the basics of the healing technique I use, you can also attend my upcoming Soul Harmony Workshop in Los Angeles. See www.sharicovens.com/events.html for more information on this event.
Thank you for your interest, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: The Four "P's" of Manifesting (Reading time: less than 3 minutes)
Issue #8, July 13, 2008
This issue of Soul-Centered Success Secrets addresses Purity, the second element of what I call the "Four P's of Manifesting," which include Purpose (with Passion), Purity, Perseverance, and Poise.
In order to bring your dreams to reality, you must have purity of intention. This means that you must be free of any limiting beliefs or desires that conflict with your goals. If you want to be able to achieve what you want with ease and grace, you must also purge negativity, toxic emotions, and toxic thoughts from your mind. Holding on to negative emotions and beliefs can not only rob your energy and limit your ability to pursue your heart’s desires, it can also make you sick. Identifying conflicting or limiting beliefs. If you feel stymied while pursuing your goals, it is likely that you are being held back by conflicting wishes or limiting beliefs. You may, for example, be eager to get a new job or take on a new project, be taking all the "right" actions, but still not be moving forward as you’d like. Why? Perhaps part of you fears that the work will require more hours than you're accustomed to, or you feel that the commute is too far. Or perhaps you don't fully believe you have what it takes to win or do the job. Or maybe there’s something else you’d really rather do, in which case the lack of forward movement is giving you the opportunity to further explore your heart’s desires so you can align with your true path. But if you are certain that you are following your soul’s authentic direction and still feel blocked, you may have unconscious thoughts or beliefs that are preventing you from accomplishing what you want.
So how can you know whether you have any unconscious beliefs that may be sabotaging you? Among many ways to recognize this kind of inner obstacle, a simple and effective technique is to ask the Universe to reveal what is blocking you. I suggest that you ask your Higher Self—or Spirit, Source, God, your guides, angels, or other name you use to tap into your inner guidance—to bring to light whatever unconscious thoughts or beliefs may be holding you back, and then watch the signs. You may get insight from overhearing a conversation, from reading a passage in a book or magazine you’re attracted to, from a dream, from feedback from a friend, or from some other unexpected source, including a new awareness that comes to you from out of the blue. Pay attention to these “signs;” they may hold the key to clearing a thought pattern that no longer serves you.
Purging negativity. It’s also crucial to learn to substitute any negativity with positive energy through conscious programming of your thoughts and words. You can help purify your thoughts by using affirmations to claim the conditions you want. If you find yourself focusing on something you no longer want in your life by continually thinking, for example, “My job is horrible,” nothing will change your situation for the better. Even if you quit or lose that job, you’re likely to have the same feelings about your new position unless you clear the negative vibration associated with your job. The solution is to consciously stop that thought and substitute it with an affirmation of what you do want. You might instead choose as an affirmation, “I now have wonderful work with wonderful people and wonderful pay, manifest under grace in a magical way.” By doing so, you are energetically supporting the steps you take to either improve your current job or find a new one.
Once you are clear that your desire is in line with the authentic longings of your heart and soul, use positive affirmations that state what you want as though you already have it—and allow yourself to deeply feel as though you are now experiencing this reality.Adding the feelings to your affirmation will help raise your energetic vibration so that you can more easily attract the conditions you desire. I suggest repeating the affirmation over and over again until the original, negative thought dissipates. By immersing yourself in the feeling of having what you truly want, you increase your power to attract the success you deserve.
Wishing you much happiness and success— Shari Covens
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: The Four "P's" of Manifesting (Reading time: less than 2 minutes)
Issue #7, June 12, 2008 Inspired by the Four P's of Marketing, in my previous issue of Soul-Centered Success Secrets I described what I call the "Four P's of Manifesting." Key elements in the successful pursuit of creating the life you want, these four P's include Purpose, Purity, Perseverance, and Poise. It occurred to me after I sent last month's message, however, that an important adjunct to “Purpose” is “Passion.” While a strong sense of purpose creates a more meaningful life, if you don’t love what you’re doing and aren’t having any fun, then what’s the point? Let someone else do that job or be with that person or live in that place that doesn’t thrill you, and keep looking until you find a purpose, person, and/or place that stirs your soul. I’m not suggesting that you drop and roll anytime you’re unhappy. According to the Laws of Vibration and Attraction, if you make changes while you’re unhappy, that unhappiness will follow you wherever you go. You can only attract situations that are vibrating at your frequency, so if you try to alter your circumstances while you’re feeling miserable, you’ll very likely encounter similar misery in your new position. These Laws are the reason many people find themselves in the same unpleasant situation again and again. If you want to change the quality of your life, you first have to change you. So how do you change you? Before moving forward, it’s essential to have a sense of peace and contentment on the inside in order to attract or create more harmony and joy on the outside. You can reach this state of contentment more rapidly by identifying and letting go of limiting beliefs and forgiving yourself and others. These processes help you get past any charged emotions and judgments regarding conditions that aren't working for you. And when you release the weight of these heavy feelings, you’re lighter, clearer, and happier. Happy people attract happy outcomes. In fact, when you finally arrive at a neutral place in response to negative circumstances, the unpleasant situation often falls away on its own and miraculous new opportunities may appear that you couldn't have imagined or been able to pursue as long as you were mired in misery.
The important thing to remember is that despite the bumps in the road, you’re meant to enjoy the ride. And since it may not be feasible to instantly walk away from an unsatisfying aspect of your life, make the time to get to know yourself better and heal your issues so you can more easily align with your passionate purpose. Then you can devise a plan, even if it means taking baby steps, that will move you further in the direction of your dreams.
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: The Four "P's" of Manifesting (Reading time: less than 3 minutes)
Issue #6, May 12, 2008
Many years ago, while attending a Marketing 301 class as an Advertising major at The University of Texas, I learned the "Four P's of Marketing," which are the basic elements of any marketing plan. For those of you who may not be familiar with them, the Four P's of Marketing include Product, Price, Promotion, and Place (of Distribution). You may be wondering why I’m sharing this marketing lesson. I'm taking a break from my usual "Everyday Wellness" theme because shortly before I woke up a few days ago, the concept for this issue of Soul-Centered Success Secrets came to me in a dream. I heard in the dream four words, which, in honor ofthe Four P's of Marketing, I'm calling "The Four P's of Manifesting." These four P's include Purpose, Purity, Perseverance, and Poise. Just as it is crucial to follow the Four P's of Marketing in order to achieve business goals, it is equally important to apply the Four P's of Manifesting in order to achieve your personal and professional goals. You can certainly attain a measure of success without applying these principles, but if you’d like to reach your full potential with ease and grace, the Four P’s of Manifesting are essential. This message focuses on the first “P,” Purpose. The Four P's of Manifesting—"P" #1: Purpose. In order to achieve your dream, you must have absolute clarity about your purpose. Your purpose can also be called your intention, or your desire. It is the fuel behind your vision and actions. It is what drives you and guides you. And in order to have clarity of purpose, you must know who you are, what you want, and be clear of any conflicting feelings related to your stated goal. If you're struggling to determine your purpose, trydoing what I call "Taking the Inventory." Make lists of what you like to do, what you're good at, what you've succeeded at, what your attributes are, what environment you like. Some questions that enhance this process of self-discovery include:
What makes you come alive?
What values guide you?
What areas interest you at a book store?
What would you do if money were no concern?
If you could see yourself in the future feeling more satisfied with your life and accomplishments, what would that look like? What would you have done/been/had? What would you be happy about?
What are your priorities?
Consider the people who have achieved astounding success in their field and who appear to be content with their life. Is Madonna the most naturally talented singer around? Or did she simply have the strongest sense of purpose, the greatest desire to be a successful performer? And given that she clearly worked hard to achieve her success, might she also have wanted it the most?
What about in your world? Who are the people you admire most and and what do you see driving them? They likely have a crystal clear vision of what they want; their intentions are pure, and they are free of the internal blocks that prevent so many people from achieving their hearts' desires. And those who seem pleased with their accomplishments most surely display a healthy amount of self-love; they not only feel worthy of the fruits of their endeavors, but they also appear to be enjoying the journey. Understanding that the common purpose for all of us in this life is to learn to be more loving to ourselves and others, one of our other greatest opportunities is to find a way to serve and express ourselves in the most fulfilling way. Whether it's being a full time mom, an artist, a doctor, or a teacher, having a clear vision of your purpose will always bring you back to your trueself and willbe your guide for achieving the kind of success that satisfies your heart and soul. The next issue or two of Soul-Centered Success Secrets will explore the other P's in the Four P's of Manifesting: Purity, Perseverance, and Poise, followed by more “Everyday Wellness” tips. Stay tuned!
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: Everyday Wellness Tip #4 (Reading time: less than 2 minutes) Issue #5, April 10, 2008 Forgive.
Leading-edge medical research on the mind-body connection has shown that forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing tools for both body and soul. Resentment and anger are toxic emotions that not only make you miserable, but also cripple your body’s defenses. Nelson Mandela provided this potent warning: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemy.” Holding on to a grudge and wishing others ill hurts you, weakens your immune system, and can literally eat at you, making you sick by affecting your body’s organs and overall system. The January 2005 issue of the Harvard’s Women’s Health Watch newsletter indicated that holding on to judgments by replaying in our minds situations in which we felt hurt, traumatized, or victimized, “creates a stress response, where the body experiences higher levels of stress hormones and increased blood pressure and heart rate.” You’ll be a lot healthier—and happier—if you can learn to let go of these negative feelings. It’s important to know that forgiving doesn’t mean you condone the behavior of the person who caused you harm, and it doesn’t mean you have to stay in contact with someone who makes you feel bad. Forgiveness is simply the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. When you’re able to neutralize your feelings about the person or thing that upsets you, your body’s system also regains its balance. From this emotionally neutral place, perhaps you can even see a lesson learned or discover another benefit from the experience that angered or hurt you. Just as important as forgiving others is the ability to forgive yourself. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we sometimes unconsciously create undesirable conditions in our lives so we can learn and grow. We might attract these conditions by holding onto beliefs that aren't serving us and by making choices that produce disappointing circumstances. This disappointment often breeds judgments about ourselves that can hold us back in various ways. An effective technique for self-forgiveness is the practice of saying, “I forgive myself for judging myself as ______________ (selfish, abandoned, stupid, unlovable, not good enough, etc.).”
The most healthful thing you can do is to get the help you need in order to forgive, bless, and release anyone—including yourself—that makes you feel bad or wronged. The sooner you can let go of resentment and anger and are able to see the lesson learned from challenging people or circumstances, the better you’ll feel. Feeling happy and at peace with “what is” raises your vibration so that you are able to attract even more happiness—and success.
Food for thought: Is there someone or something in your life that makes you feel resentful? How is this resentment serving you? Can you find a lesson learned from this difficult person or situation? To your good health--and success!
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: Everyday Wellness Tip #3 (Reading time: less than 3 minutes.)
Issue #4, March 26, 2008 Laugh and cry.
There’s an old Joni Mitchell song, "People’s Parties," that says, “…laughing and crying, you know it’s the same release.” This lyric was a favorite of mine long before I learned that laughing and crying really do produce the same effect in the body. They both release tension from the nervous system. A good laugh or cry also pumps the energy that resides underneath our navel area, the “source of life,” according to Ayurveda, the ancient Hindu healing tradition. Ayurveda, made known to most Westerners by Deepak Chopra, M.D., indicates that the body has seven energy centers, or "chakras"—a Sanskrit word meaning ‘circle’ or ‘wheel.’The area from the navel to the sternum corresponds to the third chakra, known as the Solar Plexus Chakra, which is said to be our energy powerhouse. This chakra helps you live your best life, overcome inertia, and take action toward your goals. It is the source of personal strength, for living according to your convictions.Expressing your joy or sadness by laughing or crying “massages” the Solar Plexus Chakra, thereby strengthening your vitality.
Modern medical research has validated ancient Ayurvedic wisdom about the healing properties of laughter and tears. Laughing stimulates endorphins and other “feel good” hormones that release stress and improve your sense of well being. It’s also been proven to reduce pain, boost your immune system, and improve your cardiovascular system by increasing the blood flow to the heart and brain. Providing benefits similar to aerobic exercise, laughing oxygenates your blood, which increases your energy level and gives all your internal systems a workout.
Recent research shows that humor and laughter—being great stress relievers and morale boosters—support peak levels of job performance. And many studies also have shown that laughter improves relationships by strengthening emotional bonds between partners. It helps create—and can restore—a positive emotional environment in intimate relationships and strengthens the sense of connection between people by actually synchronizing the brains of the speaker and listener. While it’s more commonly known that “laughter is the best medicine,” crying also heals by not only stimulating the energy powerhouse in your third chakra, but also by relaxing you, balancing your stress hormones, and helping release toxic emotions that can get stuck in the body. Long before modern medical research discovered these benefits, Australian physician and surgeon Sir Henry Maudsley (1859-1944) accurately described the healing value of crying: "Sorrows which find no vent in tears may soon make other organs weep." So, have a good cry when you need to. And laugh. Often.By doing so, you will improve your health, enhance your job performance and relationships, and feel more relaxed, renewed, and energized, so you can more joyously pursue your dreams. Food for thought: How can you bring more laughter into your everyday life? Read an amusing book or columnist, watch a funny movie, connect with others who are good at seeing the humor in everything. Try making a point to laugh everyday. You’ll be healthier and happier!
Dedication: This issue of "Soul-Centered Success Secrets" is dedicated to the memory of my father, Robert Covens, whose birthday was today. He was known by all as a jolly soul who loved to laugh. He was hilarious and made anything funny even funnier. His bright smile and great sense of humor made so many people happy and made laughter a major activity in our family. It is so befitting that for the last few years of his life, he wore a men’s cologne called “Happy.”I’m so grateful for the gift of laughter and the many happy memories he gave us.
Wishing you much laughter and joy today, and everyday.
Anytime you have an illness or injury, it’s always a good idea to take a look at what’s going on in your life, and try to see what your body might be trying to “tell you” when it is suffering in any way. Is your job a “pain in the neck,” or your boss “making you sick to your stomach?” Are you gasping for breath from panic while in a “suffocating” business or personal relationship? If your system is “stopped up,” where else might you be feeling blocked or facing a build up of clutter in your life?
When you’re ill or injured, if you try searching for the metaphysical meaning or lesson behind the accident or illness, you’ll likely find some belief or attitude that needs healing, or discover some other growth-promoting purpose the injury or illness may be serving.
For example, more than once in the past, when I was fearful or uncertain about moving forward in some way, I suffered a fall that injured my feet or legs, forcing me to stop and be still for a while longer. While the lesson from an injury caused by an “accident” may sometimes simply be, “slow down and pay more attention,” the forced down time from injuries or illnesses also provides the opportunity to stop and think more clearly, recognize and release fears, tune into intuition, and then proceed with much greater clarity.
Leading-edge research into the mind-body connection and the nature of energy supports the practice of looking beyond the physical reasons for “dis-ease," even when the cause seems like an accident or is deemed “genetic.”Validating ancient Eastern wisdom about how the mind and emotions affect us, a wonderful new book, The Genie in Your Genes, by Dawson Church, Ph.D.,contains more than 300 scientific studies showing that many genes are turned on and off daily by your beliefs, feelings, and attitudes, and that you can use your thoughts and feelings to take control of your health and well being.
Among many ways to discover the lesson behind an illness, an effective technique you can do on your own is a form of “automatic writing.” Simply take a blank piece of paper and write the question, “What is my body (sick stomach, sprained arm, etc.) trying to tell me?” Then, without thinking about it, begin writing, “My stomach is saying…” and see what follows. An answer will usually spring forth from your subconscious mind that provides insight about your thoughts and feelings that may be affecting your physical health. Understanding the holistic approach to wellness means understanding that the body, mind, and soul are connected.If you are out of touch with your heart’s and soul’s desires and if your mind is blocked by limiting beliefs—such as not feeling deserving, or believing there’s not “enough” for you to have what you want, that blockage may be reflected in the body in the form of illness.
So, “listening to your body” when you aren’t feeling well may not only provide the clarity you need in order to get to the root of your discomfort, but may also increase your awareness about what you really want.And when you have a crystal clear vision of what you want, you can make new choices that will accelerate your path to wellness—and success.
Food for Thought: The next time you’re experiencing any physical “dis-ease” at all, try to consider what’s going on in your life, emotionally and mentally. Do you need some down time in order to get clearer about how to move forward? Are you exhausted, or do you want a way out of an unsatisfying situation? What changes might your “dis-ease” be telling you that you need to make?
Soul-Centered Success Secrets: Everyday Wellness Tip #1 (Reading time: 2 minutes) Issue #2, February 9, 2008 Affirm What You Want!
When you are in the habit of watching what you say and affirming your positive intentions everyday, you’ll feel better in every way. And you will start experiencing more of what you want in your life.
Most people are unaware of how much time they spend talking about and focusing on what they don’t want. How often do you hear people say things like, “I get the flu every October,” or, “I never have enough money”? You can bet that as long as they keep saying those words and holding those thoughts, they most certainly will get the flu every October, and they most likely never will have as much money as they want.
In order to have more of what you want in your life, you first need to get in touch with the authentic desires of your heart and soul, and then focus more of your attention on those desires. Affirmations, which are positive intentions stated as present truths (“I am perfectly healthy” “My income always exceeds my expenses”), are one of the most powerful tools for training your mind to focus on the conditions you want. And staying focused on what you want helps direct your actions and attract the circumstances that enable you to achieve your goals.
Quantum physics has indicated that everything in the Universe, including us, is comprised of energy that vibrates at different frequencies. And now science tells us that all energy exists in a field that is powered by intention. These findings have validated age-old wisdom about the nature of energy and intention, which ancient Hawaiian Huna philosophy has described so well by stating, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Using positive affirmations helps keep your attention on what you would like to experience in your life, thereby directing your energy in a way that is far more likely to produce the results you want.
Some great general affirmations for success, love, and abundance include: “I am enjoying my ideal work with magical pay, manifest under grace in a perfect way.” “The doors to my success are nailed open, making clear and easy the path to my good.” "I give thanks that my life is now unfolding perfectly, according to the Divine plan." "I am grateful for the great love and abundance that now flows to me and through me, blessing me and all mankind." Using the power of the spoken word through positive affirmations not only keeps you focused on what you want, it also helps put you in the same vibration as the conditions you want to attract, helping you reach your goals more rapidly. As said by Dr. Michael Beckwith, founder and leader of the renowned AgapeInternationalSpiritualCenter, “State your desire as an affirmation, until it becomes a declaration.”
Food for Thought:What undesirable habits or unwanted conditions might you be perpetuating with the energy behind your words? What thoughts and words can you change in order to help produce the results you want?
Welcome to my first installment of "Soul-Centered Success Secrets." My intention is to regularlyoffersmall, yet satisfying portions of “soul food" that inspire you to be and do your best.Be sure to see the "Food for Thought" question at the end of each message. This series of "Secrets" addresses everydayhabits that will improve your sense of well being. When youfeel goodand arerelaxed and happy, you’remore naturally poised for success. You’re more alert to opportunities. You make better decisions. You set better goals. You can better access your inner wisdom and guidance. You accomplish more. And you enjoy more satisfyingrelationships. If you happen to know anything about the Universal Laws of Vibration and Attraction, you know that "like attracts like," so when you're peaceful, happy, healthy, and "in the flow," your energy is vibrating at a level that attracts more of the conditions and opportunities that keep you happy, that will bring you more prosperity, good health, rich relationships, and all else that you want in your life. When you're feeling good, you're simply more of a success magnet. I have always been a bit of a health nut, and for more than 20 years, I’ve avidly studied the holistic approach to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I’ve been blessed with great health and while I attribute some of my good fortune in this area to the strong constitution of my forebears, I can also say without a doubt that my consistently healthy state is a result of the preventive medicine I’ve practiced for so many years. Aside from continually “feeding my soul” by pursuing activities and interests that I’m passionate about, my preventive medicine consists of several daily habits that are known to help achieve and maintain a strong sense of well being for body, mind, and spirit. Being an extremely driven person, however, I sometimes used to ignore my body’s—and soul’s—needs. In order to accomplish a task or pursue some goal, on occasion I would disregard my body’s requirements for rest, even if it meant staying up all night or almost all night for several nights in a row. On the brink of exhaustion, my body would be aching for a break, but my will prevailed, and while I may have achieved my goal by my self-imposed deadline, I also paid a high price in terms of my physical and emotional well being. My lack of sleep made me irritable, and of course my productivity suffered while I recovered from the stress I put myself through. Perhaps you don’t push yourself to exhaustion, but you might have other habits that may cause you stress, make you sick, or otherwise keep you in struggle mode. Maybe you're disorganized, a worrier, a perfectionist, and/or a procrastinator. Perhaps you're afraid to delegate or say "no." The important lesson here is that any type of behavior that upsets your balance also violates one of the key principles for manifesting the most satisfying kind of success: you should be able to achieve your goals with ease and grace. “Ease” means that the effort doesn’t seem like a struggle, that you are able to work smarter, not harder, and that you are able to accomplish your goals while maintaining balance. "Grace” means that you are infused with a sense of gratitude for the gift of being on your right path and being able to joyfully pursue your purpose. Ruminating on these truths compelled me to create a listof wellness practices that will help keep you healthy, balanced, and on track. Called “Everyday Wellness,” this list includes some items that may not surprise you, and many that likely will. The bottom line is that each of the "Everyday Wellness" practices will make you feel good, and if you feel good, you tend to be happy, and if you’re happy, your immune system is stronger, and if your immune system is strong, you will be well. And being well, experiencing a high level of well being each day, provides a strong foundation for not only achieving the success you want, but for achieving it with ease and grace. During the next few weeks, future issuesof "Soul-Centered Success Secrets" will include some of my 22 "Everyday Wellness" tips. May they help you be more healthy, wealthy, and wise.
To your good health—and success!
Food for Thought: What makes you feel good? Can you think of one change you could make in your life right now that would make you feel even better? What's preventing you from doing it?